Asking For Help - part 1

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Why is it we are tongue tied when it comes to asking for help? When we were younger it was common for us to ask for help when we needed an extra hand, but as we grew older society said we needed to become independent. For women, it became risky.

So how do we change?

When working with my clients, so many have a harder time than others in this particular arena. One is a single baby boomer and finds herself wearing the proverbial armor complete with the crest “I CAN DO IT ALL” emblazoned on the front. “ALL”, I wonder.

What is she missing? She spoke to me of wanting to ask but fearing that her independence would be tarnished. I asked her, what would she gain by asking. She sat back and pondered this question. With a brighter look in her eye she replied, she would gain a companion to help her with something she wanted to complete. She would be able to finish that which she could not do herself alone.

I then asked what could she do today to move her towards that direction. She said she had a problem with one of her computers and needed to have someone educate her on what to do. We came up with a list of friends/relatives and professionals who could help her. Walking out of the office she looked back to say, I will call my nephew…he is so good with all sorts of electronics. AND IT WILL BE SO GREAT TO SEE HIM AFTER SO MANY MONTHS.

So what more did my client get…she not only received help from her nephew but she is also fostering a relationship with him that she missed. Another highlight, her behavior will be modeled. Everyone loves to have the chance to help someone else out.

So be risky, take the chance to help some else out. You will be surprised that your armor becomes softer.

Here are a few tips on what you can do for someone:

1. If they are recovering from an illness or surgery…bring them a dinner, do an errand, get their mail, bring them flowers or some magazines, play cards with them, bring them tea or coffee, do a load of laundry


2. Offer to trade services…”can you help me with x,y,z and I can do …for you.”


3. Ask to help out planting a new garden or share the weeding of a vegetable garden…up can both reap the benefits of the fruits


4. The ideas are endless…what you want help with….ASK AWAY!

Read part 2

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