Asking for Help - part 2

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Two weeks ago, you read an article ASKING FOR HELP, well here is the second half of that article.

Have you heard this phrase? “I don’t want to ask for help.”

What do you do when you first read it…I would say it’s a knee-jerk reaction for most. What is the assumption here?

The assumption is if I help, I am then indebted to that person. Or even better….she/he will resent me for asking for their help. Or even worse…this puts me in a very vulnerable position to get hurt. Especially if they say “NO.”

Some could think that… “We don’t ask because we’re afraid it means admitting we can’t be all things to all people.” Says Falk. “This is the other side of neediness—it’s a kind of dependency on the self for all the wrong reasons.”

Yes, if you do not accept the help here’s the point you might be making: you are capable, self-reliant; you’re heroic for a moment.

How is it going so far….have you gotten any further in wanting what you need? If you wanted to move that piece of furniture from one room to the other or up or down the stairs, you did it, but was it worth it? The next day you’re on the couch with the clicker and a bad back.

Probably not…so try this out…remember, one step at a time…

ASK A FAVOR…ANY FAVOR. Take a deep breath and launch the words right out of your mouth. It doesn’t have to be monumental. Be direct in the ask. Don’t say that you will pay the person back if they do this favor for you…and don’t apologize for the ask!

What does that do if you say those words? What this conveys is a sense of guilt and unworthiness. You want to come across directly and with energy. You will be amazed at how many people will be there to lend a hand. Everyone wants to feel they are useful, appreciated and thought about. So go on, pick up the phone, let someone help you out!

Read part 1

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