Empty Nester Springs into Something New

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

— Marcel Proust

During our third phone consultation, my client, Kate talked about how she was managing her free time as an empty nester.  She is 56 and single, with two kids living thousands of miles away.

Kate wanted to figure out how to raise chickens on her property, but she didn’t know what to do with all the eggs if she did have chickens.  Long story short… she connected with a neighbor that she never knew before, which led to chicks, eggs, and making egg salad sandwiches for teachers.

And to add more fun…she delivers the lunches and extra eggs in her pajamas.  Why? Because it is playful and she is exploring making one of a kind pajamas.

Woman to woman…empty nester to empty nester …spring is in full bloom.

Starting over involves ongoing changes in the empty nest. Kids come to visit or they don’t. They move back in for awhile right when you think you’ve finally found your rhythm. Your adult kids aren’t the same as when they left and you aren’t either.  It takes holding paradoxes, negotiating, seeing the bigger picture of life, and keeping your life vibrant.

Our voyage is complex for our kids and for us.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge.

Martin Luther King Jr.

SPRING:

Ask yourself:  What surprise is headed my way that would engage me and enliven me?  Write down what you hear after you ask yourself that question.

If you don’t hear an answer today, it’s okay.  You can simply say, “I don’t know what the future may hold, but I am still open to a positive surprise.”

We, too, have been thrown out of a familiar nest. Empty nesters are going through an initiation called being in the unknown and the uncertain.
You have left the coziness of what you have always done and needed.

New perception…”I won’t be left behind, dissatisfied or lonely. When I do experience those feelings I can carry myself through them. I am in a new cycle of life, so of course I feel different than before.  I don’t have to have it all figured it. I will treat myself as I would treat others and advise myself as I would advise my best friend.

Diane, whose kids are married and off to college said, during our time together, “I am so sick of whining, feeling lethargic, and being irritable with my husband.  I am like a hamster on a wheel telling the same complaining story. I have had it.  Enough. I can’t stand myself.” She is so adorable and real.  We have all had that voice in us, so we know how to help each other with this voyage.  What would you tell Diane?

May spring gently bring you to a garden of wonderment.

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