Build Stronger Relationships with the Enneagram

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The Enneagram is one of the most powerful tools in the world to understand personality styles and how to communicate to the nine different types in this system. For many people, the Enneagram is their primary learning process to accept the way they are, understand their unique personal growth type process, and understand quickly how other types think and what motivates them. If someone is a mystery and you want a better relationship with them, there’s nothing better than the Enneagram to get quick answers.

Let’s look at the nine Enneagram styles:

Type 1 – The Perfectionist – Ones aim for perfection and improvement, and reform what’s wrong into what’s right. Serious, honest and committed to quality, they are irritated by an uncrossed t or undotted i.

Type 2 – The Giver – Twos tend to over give and expect some appreciation and special attention in return. Generous, attuned to others and pleasing, they have a hard time receiving. Bubbly, smiley and seductive.

Type 3 – The Winner – Threes are the achievers. It’s speed and efficiency, more than perfection. Three like to cross the finish line and get the reward. Intentions, goals and action are their name. The United States is three country.

Type 4 – The Romantic – Fours love drama, intensity and depth. No humdrum. Fours long for and over focus on their ideal dreams and partners rather than reality. Artistic, soulful and personal, they seek out what’s missing.

Type 5 – The Thinker – The most observing and objective of the types, the five steps back to fill their curious minds with ideas, theories, facts and observations. Fives are private and detached yet excited by knowledge.

Type 6 – The Questioner – Sixes question everything, particularly what’s below the surface. Attuned to issues of safety and danger, sixes scan the environment to prepare for worst-case possibilities. Loyal, thorough and analytical.

Type 7 – The Optimist – The eternal positive thinkers, the seven is not interested in complaint and worst-case thinking. Look for rainbows, avoiding pain and fun and options.

Type 8 – The Powerhouse – The eight has energy to burn. Driven by will, a need to control and be in charge, the eight wants to get it done now. Less image oriented than threes, eights are about individuality, empowerment and chutzpah.

Type 9 – The Peacekeeper – 9s want to keep the peace at all costs. They avoid conflict, harmonize and compromise, forgetting to include themselves. The nine journey is to become more individualized, assertive and strong.

Using the Enneagram to Build Relationships

The Enneagram clarifies differences in easily understandable ways that limits judgment and criticism. The goal is to understand yourself and others, develop some of the best traits of each type and move beyond the limited perspective of your type. There are no better of worst types and certainly there are many levels of maturity within each type. Learning the Enneagram helps immensely in understanding motivations and relating to the unique worlds that people actually live in.

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