The most useful tool for communicating as a good listener is patience. Without patience, less is heard, more is missed, and potential is diminished. When someone speaks to you, that person manages the space that either gains or loses your attention.  If you allow another person the space to speak to your listening, then your own patience is a critical component of that listening.
Interrupting, not paying close attention, and allowing your own opinions to cloud what is being said are all functions of an impatient mind.  Not only does the impatient mind affect the experience of listening and being heard, but the impatient mind dominated by emotional responses--anger, embarrassment, sadness, etc.--can make the difference between communication and outright conflict.

When patience rules, the listener gives the speaker the time to speak and to make a significant contribution to the conversation.  If you have any doubts about this, then spend some time observing each time you tune out a speaker with your own thoughts-- with what you plan to say next, with distractions, or with unnecessary interruptions.

When you begin to notice how you listen and how much patience you have, then you can change your listening habits dramatically.  We do not always have the time to listen to every word that is said, but we can usually sort through ordinary constraints with patience.  The way we do this skillfully is to take into consideration yet another aspect of good listening--attitude

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