Empty today. Sad, worried, lonely, achy, anxious, immobile. Let just a little light in through the pain.
Change always happens. In the center is the paradox of carrying hope and crying. Grieving is real. We just aren’t use to paradoxes. Words like, both are true, and this is also how I feel, aren’t communicated very often.
We weren’t taught to have a range of feelings and to honor all of them as value. All of the feelings build our heart muscles and add wonderment to life.
Each experience, if you look back in your life, has added something for you to toss, re-evaluate, honor, and forgive.
Oh how human we are! But we long for the peace and good times as a constant. But when have the world, weather, and people, ever been constant?
…Over and over I am reminded that what gets us through painful times is a friend.
We know that, but when we are hurting we isolate. We don’t pick up the phone and ask a friend for help. We want to be the strong one.
So I suggest you make a list of who you feel uplifted around? Who are you yourself with? Who is cheering for your happiness?
Most of us play the role of supporter. We feel vulnerable when we reveal ourselves. Surprise is, we become closer to the friend who we speak our pain to. Being vulnerable and even sharing a “secret,” bonds us.
Here’s my take. We are already feeling horrible so what is there to lose if we say everything that is crowding our head and heart? A friend is just like you…a…
Isn’t it great that we, as empty nesters, don’t have to ask permission anymore? And isn’t it great that we learned to be thoughtful and think before we act? I wonder if our children feel that newness of deciding and thinking away from home.
We all know the day is coming, whether that day is the beginning of empty nest or the day our adult children are home for a visit and then leave.
Is there prevention for sorrow? I believe from all the experiences I have with change and tears, that the answer is to practice being with what is.
Sorrow is a part of life. Change will happen. Spring will bloom. Winter will chill. As the plum blossoms in my neighborhood are fully bursting on top of trees next to the clusters of white jasmine plants, I realize how well they handle change. They bloom, cause me to stop to take in their sudden fragrant beauty, turn brown, and drop till their next season. Now, that is an image of change and letting go that works for me.
Dealing with changes and transitions:
Hiding…
During our third phone consultation, my client, Kate talked about how she was managing her free time as an empty nester. She is 56 and single, with two kids living thousands of miles away.
Kate wanted to figure out how to raise chickens on her property, but she didn’t know what to do with all the eggs if she did have chickens. Long story short… she connected with a neighbor that she never knew before, which led to chicks, eggs, and making egg salad sandwiches for teachers.
During our third phone consultation, my client, Kate talked about how she was managing her free time as an empty nester. She is 56 and single, with two kids living thousands of miles away.
Kate wanted to figure out how to raise chickens on her property, but she didn’t know…
When our precious ones were younger, we were dashing. Now they are still precious, but we aren’t dashing towards them. Love, what is it you are dashing towards and what is OK for you to simply sit and ponder?
My empty nester friends, who are single, want to sleep through the day and night of Valentine’s Day. Married ones long for surprise. All of them remember and love the laced hearts they made with their children, as well as, the pink iced sugar cookies and red construction paper all over the floor. Change again. Children aren’t home. Lovers are gone. Marriages need the fire. |
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